Post by heavyg on Oct 28, 2008 9:40:56 GMT -7
As of November 5, 2008, when President Obama is
officially elected into office, our company will
instill a few new policies which are in keeping with
his new, inspiring issues of change and fairness:
1. All salespeople will be pooling their sales
commissions into a common pool that will be divided
equally between all of you. This will serve to give
those of you who are underachieving a "fair shake."
2. All hourly employees will be pooling their wages,
including overtime, into a common pool, dividing it
equally amongst yourselves. This will help those who
are "too busy for overtime" to reap the rewards from
those who have more spare time and can work extra
hours.
3. All top management will now be referred to as "the
government." We will not participate in this
"pooling" experience because the law doesn't apply to
us.
4. The "government" will give eloquent speeches to all
employees every week, encouraging its workers to
continue to work hard "for the good of all."
5. The employees will be thrilled with these new
policies because it's "good to spread the wealth."
Those of you who have underachieved will finally get
an opportunity; those of you who have worked hard and
had success will feel more "patriotic."
6. The last few people who were hired should clean out
their desks. Don't feel bad though, because President
Obama will give you free healthcare, free handouts,
free oil for heating your home, free food stamps, and
he'll let you stay in your home for as long as you
want even if you can't pay your mortgage. If you
appeal directly to our democratic congress, you might
even get a free flat screen TV and a coupon for free
haircuts (shouldn't all Americans be entitled to nice
looking hair?) !!!
If for any reason you are not happy with the new
policies, you may want to rethink your vote on
November 4th.